Embrace Plan B

 I bumped into a friend a few weeks ago and she shared that she was planning a wedding for her son who was about to be a parent in his early 20s. Though she told me she was stressed out by the news and all the trappings that go with planning a last-minute wedding and readying for an infant, I was excited by her impending role of grandmother and told her I guessed this was Plan B.
 Though I was thrilled by the prospect of her Plan B, I realized that I often have trouble embracing the road less traveled in my own life. I often envision that things should be a certain way and people will act in certain ways when more often than not things don't pan out as I'd hoped. When they don't, I'm just as likely as the next person to get sad, angry and frustrated that Plan A blew up in my face. Usually the only thing that turns things around is thinking about how much of my life _ and probably everyone else's _ is really Plan B.
 As much as we'd like to think that we're in control of our own destiny, so much about life and where it takes us is out of our hands. The trick is learning to recognize when Plan A is not working and embracing Plan B.  In yoga speak, it's called non-clinging or letting go of that which no longer serves you to make room for something positive in your life. Yes, this is often easier said than done, but usually good things happen when you stop clinging to the notion of the way things ought to be. Just think about how much energy is wasted bemoaning rotten relationships, horrible bosses or fair weather friends.
 Realizing when to let go of Plan A and embarking on Plan B is sometimes the trickiest part. If you happen to be a control freak, it may take you a little longer to realize it's time to let go. But ask yourself if the thing you are clinging to is really worth it and if it isn't, let it go and make room for something that truly is.

The power of positive people and positive words

So I'm back after a long hiatus and it feels great to be writing my blog again. I feel best when I'm writing, be it a blog post or a slice of life story for a local newspaper, because it means I'm using that creative part of my brain that makes me feel I'm operating on all cylinders. How do I feel when I'm not writing? Like something's missing, but I can't put my finger on it. Or like my old brown Volkswagen Bug chugging across the Bourne Bridge with a faulty set of spark plugs.

I stopped writing every day when my kids were young and I decided to stay home with them. I freelanced a little, but writing becomes increasingly difficult when you're not doing it every day. It's something like running. If you only do it occasionally, it is painful every time you go, but if you do it often, it becomes second nature. 

What brought me back to the keyboard? A student in my yoga class on Saturday told me she read my blog and liked it. It was that simple. A few words of encouragement was all it took to snap my dry spell. I bring this up because we really hold a lot of power in our words. We can use them to encourage people and lift them up, or criticize them and drag them down. Think about how great you feel after you get a compliment and how lousy you feel when someone criticizes you, no matter how well meaning it may be.


Think about it. When was the last time you gave a compliment, or got one? If it's been awhile, you know what I'm talking about. Now think about the last time someone criticized you. It happened to me a few weeks ago, and it still stings a little bit. I'm always a little leery when I see the person. OK, what now?

Teaching yoga has really illustrated this point to me. Though yoga teachers love to correct students for improper alignment, many students get very self-conscious when they are adjusted, particularly several times in the same class. As a student, I have left yoga classes feeling that the teacher was picking on me when I was just trying to get a little Zen. It's a fine line. You don't want students going into poses and getting hurt, but you shouldn't criticize so much that they are thinking about their form _ and the fact that they have been called out in front of the entire class _  at the expense of their breathing or relaxation.

Teaching yoga has also given me insight into the power of positive thinking and words. Though everyone is dealing with issues, students' breath and the poses become their focus when they get on their mats. With a few words of encouragement from me and fellow students, they tackle poses that they think are out of reach...and their hearts soar when they realize they can actually do them. That is really the joy of teaching yoga...to see people achieve what they thought was impossible.

So to the student whose compliment brought me back to writing, I say 'thank you.' And if you get a chance to give a compliment, do it. You never know where it might lead.